You obstinate wench. Every day, I attempt to summon you, and every day I am rebuffed! Why, Groove? I read articles, watch vlogs, listen to music… and you give me nothing but sass! Sass doesn’t write blog posts, Groove! I am ashamed and disappointed in your lack of productivity in our waking hours. Instead, you awaken as the sun sets, spinning together beautiful rhetoric and regaling me with tales from our childhood when I cannot write. Rather than coming alive around noon, you force me to lay awake for long after the lights have been turned out, mentally composing letters and stories with a fluidity that requires your particular participation.
Please start showing up for work, Groove.
Sincerely and with exasperation,