Story Time [1] – The Missing Eyebrow

When I was four, I noticed that my mom’s eyebrows were thinner than mine. Of course, I didn’t know how this came about I just know that if mom’s eyebrows looked like that then mine should too. So in the infinite wisdom that comes with being a small child, I took my safety scissors and proceeded to remove my right eyebrow. I did this completely blind because I did not have a mirror and I couldn’t very well do this in the bathroom for the following reason

  • Safety scissors are for paper
  • My face is not paper

So instead I hid under the bar and I divested myself of half of my facial hair. After I was done, I heard my mom approaching and immediately had an “Oh no” moment. I could not pull off any sort of “nothing happened” because again

  • I am missing all or most of my right eyebrow

Fortunately, daycare had come through for me. I had a sticker on my shirt. In a stroke of genius, I removed the sticker and used it to pick up all the little eyebrow hairs on the floor. I then showed my mother the sticker and explained how I had put it on my face, thereby avoiding trouble. Mission Accomplished, right?

Except that

  • I was obviously lying.
  • Waxed eyebrows look entirely different from cut ones
  • Eyebrows are all over the sticker
  • In no way is sticker adhesive strong enough to remove an entire eyebrow
  • Especially a used sticker

Why didn’t I get into trouble?

Are you kidding me I was missing an eyebrow and had obviously learned my lesson because guess who never did that again (me. The answer is me).

Hopefully this story brings as much joy as it brings me.

Love and smiles,
Alexis

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