Good Times · Open Letters

An Open Letter to Bathroom Doors

Hello all, it’s been a while and that is absolutely my fault. You see, for the past few weeks I’ve been thinking that I owed you, my dedicated readers, these really profound posts. I don’t know how I get these ideas into my head. If you wanted to read truly profound things a few times a week, I really doubt you’d be following me of all people. So, now that I’ve gotten this ridiculous idea out of my system, I would like to present you with my first post in a month;


Dear Bathroom Doors,

Why are you so much smaller than the rest of the doors in the house? My chair fits easily through all of the bedroom doors, the front and back doors, and even the patio door. And while I do enjoy being able to get into the rest of the house, you must surely realize that beyond your white painted wood lies a very important part of my day. I, like every other living thing on this planet, have to expel waste. Your doorframe, while only inches smaller than my bedroom doorframe, is narrow enough to hinder me from having easy access to your interior. This is quite frustrating, Door. While I have managed to find a way around it in my own domicile, your narrow frame continues to thwart my access in the homes of my friends and family. This essentially keeps me bound to certain locations. I really enjoy socializing, Door! If you were mere inches wider, I would have significantly more freedom. But alas, this is not the case. Perhaps one day, contractors will realize that all doors should be made equal because handicapped people need to pee too.

Best regards,


picture source

2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Bathroom Doors

  1. Perhaps double doors might be a good alternative. That allows plenty of space to enter, and had the added bonus of being able to burst into the bathroom dramatically. “Behold! The toilet!”

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